Something I Dislike

I have been letting this one simmer for a while today. This has been bugging me all day. So now I am going to talk about it.

One of the things I dislike is being accused of something and not being given appropriate opportunity to defend myself. In this particular case, I have been accused of being a deceiver. The nature of this alleged deception? Unclear. Apparently it involved a lie or some lies I am supposed to have told. What lies? I do not get told. Is there proof? Supposedly, but I do not get to see it. I just get accused and shunned.

So far as I know, as best as I can recall, I was honest. I was straightforward. Did I blather on about every part of my life? No. Did I lie about anything? No. I even said I would answer almost any question. Was I asked more than a few questions? No. Did I truthfully answer the ones I was asked? Yes.

So how am I a deceiver? I do not know. The alleged evidence is not shown to me. I do not know what I did. And yes, I did ask.

How do I stop making a mistake, if I do not know what the mistake is?

I has a similar situation occur on a job once. I was told by my boss at the time that I was doing several things wrong and I needed to learn to be better. What several things? I was not told. I was supposed to figure it out.

I have looked in the mirror nearly every day of my remembered life. I can say with some certainty that the word telepath is not written on my forehead. And the T-shirt which had the sentence “I am a telepath and know what you are thinking” printed on it, I threw it away years ago. So why do people keep expecting me to know what is in their minds without their having to tell me?

I say, “ask me questions.” I say, “talk to me.” I do my best to make sure my communication is clear and understood. And still, I get accused of something I am fairly certain I did not do because of… misunderstanding? lack of understanding? something I missed? something the other person missed? I do not know.

That is the most frustrating part. I do not know. There is a problem, and I cannot do anything about it because I get told only that there is a problem but not what it is. And in this case, I get accused of something, and I do not know why.

Yes, I know, I am basically just ranting here. None of what I have said will solve anything. So? I have pushed my thoughts and my emotional reaction through the filter of writing, and now I feel a little better. Just a little.

And yes, this is the nice version of the rant. The not nice version had lots of angry words and name calling and profane suggestions. But that would be even more pointless. This way I can end with some advice.

Talk to people. Be honest. Do not assume other people know what you are talking about even if you think they should. And if people still dump excrement on you, just wipe it off and keep going. Some people will be ungrateful. Some people will see things that are not there. Just keep going. You cannot please everyone. No point in worrying about it when you cannot.

2 Responses to “Something I Dislike”

  1. Wow. I have experienced this more than once with the same friend. It is such a helpless feeling. I feel your pain. Unfortunately, I had to make the choice to distance myself from this person because she kept me so off-kilter. I hope this person in your life gives you a chance to talk this through.

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