Communication, communication, communication!

I cannot stress enough how important communication is to relationships. I do not mean just D/s relationships. All relationships. Communication is vital in relationships with lovers, friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, bosses, acquaintances, and on and on. And I do not just mean talking. I mean listening too.

People forget that listening is part of communication. As important as it is to express yourself clearly, just as important is listening to the other person(s). If you are not listening, you are not really communicating. At the same time, not listening does communicate something. It communicates pride and arrogance. And it drives a wedge between you and the other person(s).

Communication, communication, communication. Talk and listen. This is so important in so many areas of life. Never stop learning how to communicate better. Never stop trying to communicate better. Nothing causes more strife and stress than poor communication. 

Right now I know a couple who are dealing with someone they used to trust, and whom they now no longer trust because he refuses to listen. This man is a pastor of a small church. He has known the couple for many years. They have been friends. But over the past few years, the man has begun to believe himself a leader who needs to be obeyed. He believes those at his church should submit to his leadership. But he has stopped communicating. Certainly he is willing to talk. He is willing to preach and to tell people what to do, but he refuses to listen. And this is beginning to cost him. He lost a good worship leader because he refused to listen. He has lost members of his congregation because he refuses to listen. And he has lost the couple who used to be his friends because he refuses to listen.

No doubt, he believes he doing what is right. He does not have ill intentions towards anyone. But he does not see what he is doing. He does not understand his own responsibility for the damage he has caused in his church and in his relationships. And he will not see it until he realizes for himself what his pride and lack of communication have done.

Communicate. Say what needs to be said, and then listen. This goes for all of you. Men, women, Dominants, submissives, vanilla folk, all of you. Listening is important.

I know it can be difficult. I struggle with it too. I know how easy it is to talk and assume the other person(s) understand(s). But one should never assume that. This is another reason listening is so important. If one does not listen, he will never know whether he has been understood.

Communication, communication, communication. Talk and listen. Listen and talk. This is genuinely important. Do not assume. Communicate.

Wisdom comes by understanding. Understanding comes by learning. Learning comes by experience and communication. If you want to be wise and not foolish, communicate.

2 Responses to “Communication, communication, communication!”

  1. Wise words… If everyone knew how to communicate effectively the world would be such a better place. 🙂

  2. Serendipity1972 Says:

    Xajow, are there dominants that do not want to communicate with the submissive or hold off on communication and if so, why?

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