One of My Pet Peeves
Yes, I am going to complain about something. Now is your chance to flee. You have been warned.
Something I truly dislike is being blamed for other people not understanding me. Mind you, I do not mean someone telling me something I said was unclear. That happens, and I freely admit I make mistakes in communication. And when I am unclear, I want to be told, so I can then be clear. But sometimes people simply refuse to understand me. Which is bad enough. But the part that really irks me is when they come up with some ridiculous reason why I am at fault.
If I give an honest and straightforward opinion that is not one hundred percent supportive, somehow they turn it into me being angry and in full opposition. And so the problem then is, somehow, me. I am made out to be at fault for causing a problem that, in reality, exists only in their own mind.
Or I am trying to help someone with an honest assessment of a situation, and I then get told I am being mean or self-centered. I am not being either one, but I get accused just the same.
I say to a person that he or she should be honest with me. I listen a lot and eventually I speak my honest evaluation of what is going on. And then suddenly, I am accused of not wanting the other person to be honest.
What the frak?
What is that you say? Yes, it is my modest humility that prevents me from admitting I am the smartest person in the room.
(Joke, people. It is a joke.)
Seriously though, I am not claiming I am always right. But why I have to always be wrong? Why is someone else refusing to understand me somehow my fault? I do not speak in riddles. I do not use esoteric language to hide my meaning. I speak forthrightly. My language is not difficult to understand. I do not use doublespeak.
Yes, I know, some people are offended by directness, and I do try to be a little bit careful with what I say depending on my audience. But there is a difference between being offended and the sort of mental gymnastics required to make someone else’s lack of understand into my fault.
And the sad part of it all is that if the other person just bothered to ask me some questions about what I meant, I could probably help him or her understand my meaning, but that does not happen. No questions get asked except those that are accusatory. How can I be so mean? How can I say that to them? Why don’t I want them to be honest?
Why do they get to be honest, but I do not?