Project August: Day 21 – What Is in a Name?

Something I occasionally say to people (usually teenagers) is “just because you don’t care what words mean does not mean that what words mean does not matter.” And in reply I generally get a puzzled look. The meaning of words does matter. When we misuse words, we muddy the meaning not just in our own minds but also when we use the words in communication with others. Yes, I am talking about communication again. Because it is important.

So many things that do not induce a sense of awe still get called awesome. And then when something truly awesome is encountered, we don’t know what to call it. Why? Because we wasted the word awesome on things that were merely fun or cool. Just because you can say you love ice cream does not mean you actually love ice cream. We mistake love for like or enjoy or infatuation because we misuse the word love.

I know, you’re glancing up at the title of the post and wondering what this has to do with names. Well, before I get to that, I want to mention the blog post to which I am responding for this entry in Project August. The post comes from the blog at and is titled “Little Kaninchen – Much More Than Just A Name”.

I have called my submissive Little Kaninchen almost from the beginning of our journey. Kaninchen is German and means rabbit. Yep, she is My Little Rabbit. Everyone in our family has a few nicknames. This made calling her Little Kaninchen in front of our children or friends and family completely normal. Nobody even gives it a second thought or suspects anything from me using this endearing term.


For myself, I frequently interchange my wife’s real name and Little Kaninchen. This allows her to know what my expectations are of her at any given moment. If I were to ask her a question and reference her as Little Kaninchen she immediately knows that I am asking her as her HusDom. If I were to ask her the same question but reference her by her real name she would know that I was not asking as her HusDom but rather as her husband or partner. This has become very natural for us and we can alternate back and forth in front of anyone at anytime without anyone being the wiser.

Words matter. The meaning of words matters. In this instance the use of a name is being used to communicate something specific. It means something specific to this couple. Words like red, yellow and green can mean something very specific in a D/s situation that they do not mean in any other situation. Words like Sir, Master or Daddy can mean very different things in various circumstances.

So what is my point? If what the words mean to you is not what they mean to someone else, you can miscommunicate without knowing it. At the same time, life can be a lot easier in D/s when you use words to establish a special code. But to do that, you have to talk to each other about such things. My point is know what the words mean, and (particularly in D/s) be sure the other person knows what the words mean.

I have talked about the importance of clear communication before, and I will again. I cannot stress enough how important it is. Never, never, never be afraid of communication. Yes, sometimes you may get your feelings hurt. That is part of life. Live with it.

This all seems a little harsh, and I do not mean it to be. My goal is not to make any one over-worry about communication. My goal is just to encourage you to communicate. It will be a blessing to you the more you do it.

I am tired tonight, folks. So that is all I am going to say on that topic for now.

Good night. Come back tomorrow for more pointless rambling enlightening wisdom. 

One Response to “Project August: Day 21 – What Is in a Name?”

  1. Serendipity1972 Says:

    I ‘love’ your pointless rambling…I mean enlightening wisdom x

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