Archive for Relationships

Some Words About Rituals

Posted in D/s, Dominance, Relationships, submission with tags , , , , , on July 21, 2014 by Xajow

Students, you might want to prepare to take some notes today. I talked about rituals once before, about having rituals and including them in D/s. Today, I want to talk more specifically about creating a ritual. One can just string some actions together, repeat it all a few times, and call it a ritual. But one can also be more thoughtful about it, and give specific meaning to specific actions and thereby create a ritual with more significance and beauty. And hopefully create a ritual that enhances the D/s experience.
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The Perpetual Question of Certainty

Posted in D/s, Dominance, Philosophy, Questions Answered, Relationships, submission with tags , , , on November 18, 2013 by Xajow

Time for class, students. In relationships, particularly those that leave us vulnerable to being hurt, we often find the question of certainty. And this is no less true in Dominance/submission relationships. I was asked recently, “How does a Dominant know a certain submissive will fulfill his wants and fit his needs?” There are really two questions here. The literal question itself, and the implied question. Are you prepared? Good. Class begins. Continue reading

Getting to Know Your Dominant

Posted in D/s, Dominance, Relationships, submission with tags , , , , , , , on November 12, 2013 by Xajow

I was asked some time back to talk about a Dominant’s needs versus wants. Specifically mine. Well, I am not going to get specific about mine. That is a topic for a private discussion in a different situation. I can speak, however, a little bit and in more general terms about the wants and needs of a Dominant. So that is what I will do. Continue reading

Project August: Day 23 – Wherein I Clarify My Opinion of BDSM for Fun [NSFW]

Posted in D/s, Project August, Relationships with tags , , , , , on August 23, 2013 by Xajow

I find it odd that although D/s and libertarianism are topics of equal interest and passion for me, I get lots of views and comments for the D/s posts and almost none for the libertarianism posts. But I am weird. So anyway, this post is not about politics. More about D/s today, but before you get too excited, this post is philosophical in nature. Well, this blog can’t be sexy all the time when I am posting every single day. Continue reading

Christianity and D/s

Posted in Advice, Christianity, D/s, Dominance, Morality, Philosophy, Relationships, submission with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2013 by Xajow

As promised and at long last, I am going to address the question of how I reconcile my Christian beliefs with D/s. The first thing I want to point out is that in truth I do not believe they need to be reconciled as such. “How can that be?” you ask incredulously. Well, if you will be patient, I will explain. And by “be patient” I mean to warn you that this is going to be a long post. Continue reading

How to Ask a Dominant Questions

Posted in Advice, D/s, Dominance, Relationships, submission with tags , , , , , , , on March 4, 2013 by Xajow

In search terms on my WordPress stats page are a few variation on the subject of asking a Dominant questions. I confess this does not seem a difficult matter to me. I can guess, however, why it might seem an issue of concern to some. Though I am thinking that a more correct phrasing of the issue might be ‘how to respectfully ask a Dominant questions’. So let us take a look at that.

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Thoughts on a Movie D/s Folks Should See

Posted in D/s, Dominance, Movies, Relationships, submission with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2013 by Xajow

Now then class, in my previous post I mentioned I wanted to talk about a movie I think all D/s people should see. What movie is this? I shall tell you in due time. This is the part where I talk about this film which displays an D/s relationship in a charming and entertaining manner, and thereby tease you into wondering what movie I could possibly mean. Some of you may think you already know. And some of you who think you already know are wrong. And no, this film is not pornographic. This the part where I smile smugly, ask if anyone cares to guess, and then pretend to answer questions. But what is the movie? The title of the movie is… Continue reading

Communication, communication, communication!

Posted in Advice, Relationships with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 23, 2012 by Xajow

I cannot stress enough how important communication is to relationships. I do not mean just D/s relationships. All relationships. Communication is vital in relationships with lovers, friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, bosses, acquaintances, and on and on. And I do not just mean talking. I mean listening too. Continue reading

A Little Reality about D/s

Posted in Advice, D/s, Dominance, Philosophy, Relationships, submission with tags , , , , , on August 22, 2012 by Xajow

An interesting phrase has turned up in the search terms listed on the stats page for this blog: “how to get your sub to fully submit to your dominant will”. Pooh yi. Continue reading

Search Terms: Lightning Round

Posted in Advice, D/s, Dominance, Questions Answered, Relationships, submission with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2012 by Xajow

Today I briefly answer several issues gleaned from the search terms. 1) I can understand submission but not dominance. 2) What games and things do you have to learn for a Dominant/submissive relationship? 3) How to act submissive to a Dominant. 4) Easiest explanation for a Dominant/submissive relationship. 5) Can a Dominant have more than one submissive? Continue reading